“About” seems like such a broad term. Should I talk “about” my personality, “about” my career paths, or “about” my life events that have led me to here? (I had to over use the word “about” to make you guys as sickened by it as I have been this past week). After thinking about everything I could possibly write about on this page, I’ve decided the best way to introduce myself is by showing you the secret workings of my brain. 

As a child I always daydreamed, and as I’ve gotten older ive realized its always been more of a dissociative state than a daydream. When my parents first got divorced, I spent a lot of time driving in the car. Both of my parents would spend the drive with their music turned up which created a perfect environment to sit alone with my constant moving thoughts. Sometimes I would overanalyze the songs, trying to understand the experiences of shattering heartbreak and nihilistic optimism at the age of nine. Then I would think through all the steps I could take to make my duct tape wallet business get more revenue. But mostly I would catch myself creating stories. I envisioned a love story on the top of a specific mountain peak; a man and woman were unconditionally in love with each other, and they would sit on their peaceful mountain peak, just the two of them, and look down at the rest of us as ants. I imagined the end of the world. I wondered if it would be sudden darkness, a vast emptiness as if none of us ever existed. Then I questioned if it would be pure light, and we’d remember every past existence we’ve had on earth. 

Then I got older, and the question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Was haunting me more and more everyday. My times of creating stories became more personal, and I imagined a million different lives for myself. Designing my own clothing line. Going to school in NY to become a director. Writing a book in the countryside of Ireland. Endless and endless thoughts about what I would spend the rest of my life doing that catapulted my thoughts into the next question: “Who do I want to be?” 

So I had ideas of what I wanted to be, but who would I become if I did those things? What parts and versions of me would I sacrifice if I didn’t choose a certain option? I didn’t want to have to sacrifice anything, I have always wanted to experience it all. So why not do it?

I’ve learned that I’ve never been meant for a single life path. When my time of death comes, I want to know I experienced various aspects of life. I want to have gained knowledge of hardships and suffering, and be filled with nostalgia of human connection and summers of growth. I want to know the feeling of creating something unique, and be filled with the accomplishment of doing it. I want to write down everything that happens so I never have to worry about ever forgetting anything good. I want to collect little objects that made me feel less lonely because for some reason I got emotionally attached to it. I want to know what it’s like to laugh with my favorite people, and remember the first time I looked at people who use to be strangers to me. I want to connect and create and learn everything I can in this little life.

I’m now at a point where I’m doing that, and this website is the host for all of it. I want to feel understood from the words I write then bond with people during a photo session. I want to appreciate my growth in my creativity, and share all these little pieces of myself with the world.

and with you, the reader, who for some reason made it to my fun little website.

xo – iz

p.s. since this whole website started with me writing down the words in my head, I figured I’d share some quotes that permanently live in my brain. enjoy xx